notlarrybubkiss's Blog

For Hire

I need to run away. Take me to the place I love. Take me all the way.  I have not stopped moving for a week. Today, the diet consisted of one pomegranate refresher, a salted caramel frappuccino, a banana, a large glass of water, chicken soup and bread followed by a ginger ale. Not the healthiest but I did not have much time to eat.  I need to hop in my car and flee. Road trip time. Who's with me? We can split the gas money and don't touch the radio!

Nachos and Christianity vs A Beer and A Bong Me

Today. Oct. 26th, 2012.

Today has been a subsequent cluster fuck of emotional non-emotion. Alarm beep beeps at me at  4:35am. Get up, get dressed and out the door. It was an early day for me and an early exit from my profound job as a professional nude midget wrestler. No, not really I am a......Well maybe a bit to much information for this forum. Finish work, go to store as a co-worker and his family are stopping by tonight. The menu includes, my world scrumptious guacamole (ask me for the recipe) nachos with marinated flank stank and beer. The family is quite religious which is totally fine with me, but I find it a bit to wholesome as I think of my wife, and aspiring Yogi, with an aptitude for denying anything potentially sexual, at least in regards to me. At least I can say I am married to a Yoga instructor, if she ever decides to become one. But I digress. The family is very nice and seem non-judgmental and a bit of an enigma to myself. The wife, foxy as she is in a warm way, has a delicate sense of her self and the husband a bit warm as well. 

I sit back and can't help but wonder what their personal sex life is like. Not in a perverted way but I wonder if it is like my own, sadly a parched horse in that aspect, or is that of the scorching son, so locked down in its ambivalent sure fire hot to trot way, exceeding  all expectations.

Anyway, I am having guacamole tonight with my nachos and a nice cervesa and will ponder many things, excluding intercourse with my roommate. That always fails.

After I came home I became annoyed at the fact that I worked all day (she just got a job after two months of learning hot yoga (my gift to her for her Bday)) and I was the one being productive attending to the critters, which is fine as I love em', however fine that is she decided she needed a break and went off to watch new girls on Hulu. Later I got out my chainsaw and......Don't worry. I am as about non-homicidal as they come, proceded to the back yard and hacked the shit out of some meaty limbs, again tree limbs not arms and legs (Sicko's). After 3 hours I came in and popped open a beer. A beer mind you that came from a $9.99 12 pack of Mexican sampler beer. My first choice was the Tecate which was buy one get 12 free back in the day when we used to cross the border into Rosarito. Shortly thee after, she popped into her sexy spandex yoga outfit. She is Petite and I think beautiful which pains me to no ends, I think she is trying to kill me,after my insurance money or something. I should tell her I don't have any.

She leaves and I proceed to this moment now, at this time, but shortly before decided to take some nasty resin hits from a glass pipe that contained the contents of a wonderfully made california bud. At this point I am slightly buzzed from my beer and my bad choice of resin hits. I have to cook and entertain the good christian people tonight.

Should be interesting!

I will probably try and get the wife drunk and seduce her for my own shits and giggles. i f I do get any action it will be her lying their, waiting for it to be over and me hurrying to the punch because I can't stand the pained look in her face. Hmmmmm maybe I am doing it wrong, but in the beginning she sure liked it. The light switch just went dim one day.

I will try and keep anyone who may or even may not care posted. Laterz


This blog has been marked as containing adult content. Your current adult settings prevent you from seeing it. Please go to your account settings page and change your settings to allow adult content to view this blog

Past Blog of Blogs

There were so many blogs it makes my head spin. 1 year of not getting laid gets the juices flowing (only figuratively)

Give a shout out if you remember these Gems

1. A Boner at Costco
2. The Pumpkin Patch Bucket Ride
and my personal favorite
3 Canadian girls love butterscotch like American girls love Chocolate

1-3 of 3 Blogs   

Previous Posts
For Hire, posted November 16th, 2012, 4 comments
Nachos and Christianity vs A Beer and A Bong Me, posted October 26th, 2012, 4 comments
Pervert, posted September 9th, 2012
Past Blog of Blogs, posted August 26th, 2012, 2 comments

Here are some friends' blogs...

How to Embed Photos in your Blog Embed Photos How to Embed Videos in your Blog Embed Videos